FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK MY LIFE
FUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK MY LIFE
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
FUUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK MY LIFE
FUCK. MY. LIFE.
and when I get married to the guy I am in so much love with, you aren’t invited to the wedding. I’m going to even invite people I don’t even like that much. then you’ll step back and think “hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have given her shit about her and Jacob being engaged at this time and age”
because maybe you didn’t know that there are WAY more types of “being in love” than yours and not everyone is the freaking same.
IT DOESN’T TAKE 14 THOUSAND MONTHS FOR EVERYONE TO FALL IN LOVE.
and I’m still not happy about you thinking it’s fine and dandy to hound gays. oh well not like that hits home for me or anything. I mean, I don’t go around and hound on your breakup with your boyfriend all the damn time.
I’ve had enough and this is my post about it.
i’m done with being your friend.
i just really enjoy it when you kiss my scars.
Hey baby, its bear just wanted to post something for you and your followers.
I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do without you. Just remember…6/4/15 [:
a year ago today i was in the worst condition i have ever been in. i was taking pills (almost over dosed once) and cutting my legs to shreds. i was in the deepest slump i have ever been in and i was so mad at everyone. for no reason in particular. i was mad because they were happy and i wasn’t. (when in reality, they weren’t happy either.) to be completely and totally honest, i didn’t think i would last another year. i thought i was going to die before i turned 16 and i would be the cause. but i made it through. somehow. jacob helped me tremendously with the cutting. and i blame the rest on God. He wants me here. (He wants YOU here) and if you just make it through high school, things will get better.
God has blessed me with at least ONE amazing friend (whom i don’t spend as much time with anymore]: sorry Meghan) and an amazing boyfriend. and an amazing “brother” and my parents and actual sister are cool too. [:
if it were last year, i couldn’t look into the future and see myself with the chunky country boy Jacob Stewart. i saw myself literally never finding anyone. who wanted to date Kelsy Moore? the obese white girl who was REALLY weird and a bit crazy? who cut herself since grade 6? no one. but that’s okay because (i guess) someone saw past the craziness and obese-ness and weirdness. and he saw the real me. the me who loves all animals. the me who cried tonight when he ran over a frog (after he stopped in the middle of the road for me to save it. ran it over anyways). the me who goes into the little kids toy section every time we go in walmart and plays with the toys like i’m 7. the me who likes to be pushed in the buggy and kissed when i’m upset. the me who wants to be the best girlfriend ever for him and i try really hard but not hard enough. but i love him. i love him so much.
i don’t even know what kind of crazy order this is all in but i needed to write it down and i don’t have time to edit and make it perfect because it’s just a lot of whatevers that i needed off my chest. i don’t want any pity. i want joy out of the progress i’ve made and joy out of the love i have in my life. God is great. love doesn’t suck as much as i used to think.
and again, this is just a bunch of random things i’ve had in my head. skjghurghiurgerue okay. i’m done.
